CHAPTER 10 "CCR - Climbing the Christian Ranks"

Before I get going, I just want say this post isn't short, but it won't be as long as my previous one on marriage. 

  This post is about something that has been rattling around my head for a few years now and it may not digest well for many church going people and may be controversial for some, but nonetheless I want to write it. My intent is not to get a reaction, but to shed some light on some things that the Bible does not teach, and more importantly what is does teach.

On a personal note, I was born just outside the Bible school my parents were attending. I grew up on the "mission field" of Eastern Canada where my dad pastored a small french church for a long time. I have taught Sunday school and Bible studies for years. I have attended two bible schools; one in Alberta, the other in New Zealand. I have led youth events. I have played guitar for years on music/worship teams. I have done many Christian sports camps. I have been a Young Life leader. I have done "unofficial" outreach with unsaved young people. I have done international mission trips. I have given my "testimony" and preached sermons.
 I have breathed, smelt, heard, tasted and been saturated in organized church since as long as I could remember. I have easily heard thousands of sermons and been to 2500+ church gatherings of some type in my young life.

 Why do I say all this? Because so much of what I just listed about myself is totally and completely worthless. It doesn't mean anything. My worth and purpose as a christian is not defined by any of these things. 
  Because I want you to know, I do not say all this from an outsider's perspective. I speak from the inside of today's churches. My wife and I have dozens of close friends and acquaintances who fill many paid church positions, and just as many who are currently in various levels of seminary training for said positions.

   One thing I have noticed growing up in the "church culture" since I was very young, was just how much prestige, attention, and respect that could sometimes correlate to the years one spent at a seminary. This is not always the case in smaller churches, but it is very prevalent in churches that have 150+ people, and especially so in the mega churches where weekly attendance is in the high hundreds or thousands.
  When I was young I first noticed this, and at that impressionable stage of life I assumed it normal. I began to notice other things along these lines, such as the yearly salaries generally corresponded with what "Christian degree" and formal education you had from a seminary.
   
   For example, if you did 2 years at a seminary, you would expect an intern position of sorts, but certainly not a pastoral position, but probably one in youth, college, or music ministry, and a salary in the ball park of $20,000-35,000. But if you could stick it out for 3-4 years at seminary, you could make $35,000-45,000 a year if God "called" you to the right church to fill the position of an associate pastor. Another option would be to get a masters or a doctorate over 5-7 years at seminary. This could put you in the running for senior pastorate position with a yearly salary ranging well into six digits (More on paid church positions later). And if you managed your resources well, spoke in a way that drew people to you, and didn't take a definitive stance on too many controversial issues, you would most likely be offered or "called" to a bigger and more profitable church. The temptation to avoid preaching on certain difficult topics, and cling to the cozier passages of the Bible week after week is hard to resist when new people keep coming in the doors.

• "...but to preach the gospel, not in cleverness of speech, so that the cross of Christ would not be made void." (1 Cor. 1)

 Jesus was just as eager to turn away truth "seekers", as he was to accept genuine repentant believers. Think of the wealthy ruler who approached Jesus in Luke 18. He fit the bill perfectly for a "prospective convert". He walks into church and starts asking about how to get to Heaven. He is obviously willing to talk about spiritual things. He knows the Bible. He is morally perfect in his living. He is very rich. What else could a church body want from a guy? All he needs to add to his great life is Jesus, right? But at all costs, do not let this one off the line. 

  But what did Jesus do with him? He shows him exactly where he falls short. He immediately pinpoints where this stand up citizen has failed. Not failed by human standards, but by God's. Jesus knew his heart. Jesus knew this man's security was tied up in this life. And while this man is standing there discouraged and stunned, Jesus then loudly speaks to everyone around, "How difficult it is for those who have wealth to enter the kingdom of God!"

  Is Jesus being cruel? Cold and uncaring about this man's feelings? I suppose it depends on who you would be in this story. This man's feelings did not matter in comparison to the severity of eternity, Hell, and Heaven. What do you think would happen if this type of "evangelism" was carried out in today's average church? If things like forgiveness would only be taught along side of the gravity of sin? I believe the immediate effect would be a drastic decline in attendance, followed by a genuine rebuilding of the entire church. 

 Jesus would often have very large crowds numbering in the thousands listening to his words, but how many times did he say something that caused a stampede in the opposite direction? 

•  John 6 tells of when Jesus finished preaching, and it was not received well by the people. "On hearing it, many of his disciples said, 'This is a hard teaching. Who can accept it?" Aware that his disciples were grumbling about this, Jesus said to them, 'Does this offend you?'...He went on to say, 'This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless the Father has enabled them.' From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him. 'You do not want to leave me too, do you?'"

  I can't help but see a direct comparison to the way a successful company is run in the business world. You go to university or college and get your degree. You then bring your resume to an interview where you potential competency is evaluated. If all goes well you will be offered a position and salary according to your experience and education. Once you've been in the business for awhile, your success is graded by your marketing skills, ability to complete the tasks at hand, and total revenue generated. This is the way one can expect things to go quite often in the business world, but I fail to see any major differences with the way almost every single church is run in our present day in 2011. One can climb the corporate ladder of a church in the exact same way as in a company.


  Now, I am being a bit cynical? Maybe a little, but only a little. I know full well that no church is perfect, or has it all together, but some hills are worth dying on. This is one of those hills....


    This is something I see over and over again in first hand experience, and read and hear about constantly when it comes to the pulse of 90%+ of churches today. The "higher ranked" Christians will generally go for lunch with the visiting missionaries or guest speakers, while everyone else goes to Swiss Chalet or Denny's with the other lowly church peasants.
  And if the person on the stage that week happens to be a renown speaker or well known author, the amount of worship ...err I mean attention given to them is staggering. The pastor can be referred to, and approached as a celebrity of sorts. I see "sucking up" to the pastor as a very common way to validate your own worth within the church. To be able to say, "I know him pretty well.", or " When we went for lunch last...", can boost the self esteem of someone who has put their confidence in a mere man. These types of relational church pursuits are very unhealthy dead end roads to go down. God has not designed any man to fulfil that role of, well, God. 


  If a younger or newer Christian in a church begins to get fired up and passionate in their faith, learning about the Bible at a furious rate, and their life starts to show significant signs of change by becoming more like the person of Christ, one of two things will happen as other church members notice.
   One, they will tell you in subtle ways to calm down and quit "running" at such a high speed.
   Or two, that person will be encouraged to go to seminary to get a Bible degree to ease the ruffled and singed feathers of other Christians who's moral boats have been tipped a little too much for comfort. Because if someone does not have a seminary degree, then the accountability before God must be less; right? How can one be expected to live in the same moral league as one who has a "Masters of Divinity" degree?
    Because if someone has a Rev., Dr., or Pastor in front of their name, then how can someone else possibly be expected to know as much, be as moral, or be as passionate about God and the Bible as someone who has gone to seminary? The Bible says otherwise.


  "There is only one place a man can do something for 20, 30, or 40 years and not get any better at it, and still be accepted by his peers: Church." - V. Baucham (He has a great talk on this topic: http://www.sermonaudio.com/sermoninfo.asp?SID=41511125147 )

• Titus 2 - "Older men are to be temperate, dignified, sensible, sound in faith...Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good,..." Hebrews 5 - For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you have need again for someone to teach you the elementary principles..."

Pastor Mark Driscoll has such a sold article on the pros and cons of Seminary:  http://theresurgence.com/2013/01/22/should-i-get-a-ministry-degree-or-a-real-world-one?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=pastormark&utm_campaign=Pastor%2BMark%2BFacebook

  Do I think Bible schools are a bad idea? Often, but not always. Yes, seminary has the potential for one to genuinely grow in their faith and knowledge, but it is far from a guarantee. The Bible says nothing about needing a degree or certificate given by men to be able to teach or lead in a church. Nothing. 
   The books of Titus and 1 Timothy give more than enough clarification as to the education and qualification of a church leader. It is unfortunate how many Godly men are not encouraged or given a chance to teach, while the pulpit is often filled with someone who has a 'Masters of Divinity' degree who may fill all church requirements while failing Biblical ones. I rarely hear of Pastors who are interviewed in a way other than one that follows the business model. I find this strange as the Bible gives such a clear picture of what a man should be, to lead a church.

•   Titus 1 "...namely, if any man is above reproach, the husband of on wife, having children who believe, not accused of dissipation or rebellion. For the overseer must be above reproach as God's steward, not self-willed, not quick tempered, not addicted to wine, not pugnacious (quick to argue), not fond of sordid gain, but hospitable, loving what is good, sensible, just, devout, self-controlled, holding fast the faithful word which is in accordance with the teaching, so that he will be able both to exhort in sound doctrine and to refute those who contradict."

• 1 Timoth 3 adds a few things to this list, "...able to teach...respectable...free from the love of money. He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control will all dignity (but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?), and not a new convert, so that he will not become conceited and fall into the condemnation incurred by the devil. And he must have a good reputation with those outside the church..."

 Why are men not critiqued by these standards anymore? But by the world business model standards instead? By attendance, resumes, percentages and stats. And what part of these definitive standards God has laid out in the Bible are not directly applicable to all warm blooded men of God? If this list only applies to pastors and elders, then where does a man look for a standard to reach for? No, this is for every saved man. Period.
   And yes some men choose to teach the whole church, but all Christian men should be capable of at least teaching their own families.


 And those same parts of the Bible also lay out the standard for women. Do they only apply to women who are musically gifted, Sunday school directors, and Pastor's wives?

• "Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure...so that the word of God will not be dishonored." (Titus) 

If one man is hired to be the main leader of a church, then ministry which is every single saved person's responsibility and privilege, often falls to the paid church staff. I mean, why should I go visit sick people when I pay 10% of my paycheck to the church? (more on tithing in the next post)  
     Why should I help clean up when we hire a janitor? Shouldn't the powerpoint and music be more modern and smoother with what the church can afford?

   A Christian comedian had this funny line, "You know when someone at church comes up to you and says, 'You got a servants heart dude, you got a real servants heart.' What they really mean is, 'Start stacking chairs!'"

  This trend has spread into what is called "Youth Ministry" over the last 20 years. Now, without getting too much into the issue of youth ministry, but where else can a 20 something year old guy or girl get paid $20,000-50,000 a year to hang out with kids all day? In answer to "But I have a passion for young people." I like the quote "Well if that's the case, then get married and have your own." Yes, amazing things can still happen within youth groups, but it is far from the ideal set up. 
  Youth ministry has failed its own stated goals in the church. It is not producing life long fruit bearing believers. It's just not. What if some kids got saved through youth group? Well, some people get saved at WalMart. This is bad logic. The point is that a separate ministry for youth is not necessary for young people to get saved. Why? Because the church body itself fulfills that role. Where, throughout history starting in Acts, did a young person fail to find Christ through a church body but needed a youth or college and career group to get answers? College and Career groups provide a place for Youth Group graduates to go without stepping all the way up to the "big church", without feeling uncomfortable and out of place.
   If the church is functioning as it is supposed to, there is no need for this industry...err I mean ministry...
 Does this mean every guy or girl "working" in this ministry is a failing Christian? Of course not, but the entire premiss of youth ministry is not supported by Scripture. As Voddie Baucham (first video clip below) so delicately put it, "There is more Scriptural evidence to become a eunuch then there is to become a youth pastor."


Age segregated "church" is not found in the Bible.
( http://www.sermonaudio.com/sermoninfo.asp?SID=415111310574 )

  I know the word "pastor" is found in the Bible, but the church structure based on one man preaching the majority of the time (i.e. 75%+ of Sundays) is not found in Scripture; not matter how hard one looks for it. It is far from healthy to have one man, a mere man, be the one responsible for most of the teaching a church body receives.

• "Without consultation, plans are frustrated, but with many counselors they succeed." (Prov. 15)

   The amount of upheaval following a pastor leaving a church is an obvious example that comes to mind. If by one man leaving a church body, even one that was in leadership, causes people to consider whether they will stay on in that church or not, is a sad indicator as to where the trust was laid and who was really worshiped in that church. Verbally God was praised, but hearts trusted in man.


 A church body cannot be based on men. Especially one man. Is it a sin to have one pastor who does most if not all of the teaching? No of course not. But it is far from the ideal situation for a church to grow in. What it does however, is place far too much responsibility on one man. That burden is too great for any one person to carry. And as opposed to the attention being temporarily given to one person while they teach, then given fully to God and his Truth, the attention and adoration remains on that one pastor. His words can become more familiar and trusted, than the Word of God. 
  One man can only learn so much. One man has only lived so much. One man has only trusted God in so many ways through suffering. 
   But multiple Godly men teaching one church body, will result in far more consideration given to the subject of the teaching, as opposed to the speaker. 

•    "For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires." (2 Tim 3:4)
• "Where words are many, sin is not absent." (King Solomon)

Human applause is a very dangerous thing. Look at what happened to King Herod...Acts 12:22,23


  If the church had a handful of men that were in charge of the teaching, then it is much more difficult to come to trust in a single man over the true head of the church; Jesus Christ.
 When the first church were getting going after the ministry of Jesus, they would select multiple leaders for each body of believers, as well as dividing all the rest of the responsibilities to men and women in the church. No one person having any more importance then another.

•  Acts 14 - "When they had appointed elders for them in every church..."
•  Acts 15 - "Then it seemed good to the apostles and the elders, with the whole church, to choose men from among them..."
•  Titus - "For this reason I left you in Crete, that you would set in order what remains and appoint elders in every city as I directed you..."
• Eph 4 - "And He gave some as apostles, and some as prophets, and some as evangilists, and some as pastors and teachers,..."

 The Bible does not class people spiritually in levels of importance and rank. Once Christ buys you from your former master of sin, then you belong to him. All His slaves are equal.

• "For the one who was a slave when called to faith in the Lord is the Lord's freed person; similarly, the one who was free when called is Christ's slave." (1 Cor. 7:22)

• "There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." (Gal. 3:28)

• "...do not consider yourself to be superior to those other branches. If you do, consider this: You do not support the root, but the root supports you." (Rom 11)

• "There is no one righteous, not even one;...for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."(Rom. 3) 

      Yes, this includes your pastor, youth pastor, favorite Christian authors, favorite Christian musicians, and favorite Christian speakers. No one is worthy of human worship. Paul talks about his zeal for God, moral faultlessness, high social and religious training all being worthless. He also talks about how his ministry brought on much long suffering in the form of 5 separate whippings that stripped the back of all flesh, beatings, 3 shipwrecks, stoned 3 times, and always in danger from something. But Paul refused to boast in any of this. His security was found in Christ. Period.


  The leaders are the ones who (should) serve the most!

• "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve; and give his life as a ransom for many." (Mark 10)

Preaching to, or being in front of hundreds or thousands of people, does NOT make you an "effective" Christian. A ditch digger, wall street trader, salesman, grocery teller, housewife, or tradesperson, can have JUST as much impact on the world, or more, than a famous Christian author or preacher. We must get this idea of human worship dealt with. We often don't even know we're doing it. But we humans crave an object to give attention to. Something or someone tangible to trust and hope in. Bank accounts, vehicles with years left on the warranty, famous people, a house with an X amount of square feet in the right neighbourhood, etc. 
    In the church we look to the popular "teachers" and figureheads. As well our Christian musicians who sound like something on America's top 40, the approval of the higher ranked Christians around you, the satisfaction of other church members knowing how much $$$ you gave, the desire to have others know about what ministries you're involved in, and how many times your face shows up on the slideshow of the recent missions trip.

• "But when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. then you father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you...When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show others they are fasting. truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to other that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."(Matt. 6)

 A leader, or teacher, should be almost pitied more than applauded, envied, and elevated. The responsibility is massive. It is not a position to be sought after. There is no human glory when a leader is teaching and leading Biblically, only more responsibility before God. "Pastors" or church leaders are far from being more important than anyone else, but in reality are actually held to more accountability the more they teach. Yes, all men are commanded to reach for a certain standard God has set for them to teach their families (Prov. 22:6), but those who decide to teach to the church body have undertaken a role they are guaranteed to fail at. How can one perfectly explain the Bible? How can any man accurately and perfectly depict God's hatred of sin or His immeasurable love for us? Any good that comes from a man's teaching is only because of God and his Spirit, while any shortcomings are placed squarely on the leader. See how being a church leader can be a daunting task? Pray for them. They are signing up for more responsibility and judgment from God on what they have said or didn't say.

• James (3) says this on the issue - "Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly."

This brings me to the issue of paid church positions. This could easily be a post in itself, so I will try and summarize.
   Financial support for certain positions in the church is Biblical. But it is not the example Paul set for us. He knew that when money starts flowing, things get warped very quickly. Less is more in the case of paid church positions.

• "For you remember, brothers, our labor and toil: we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you, while we proclaimed to you the gospel of God." (1 Thess 2)

• "For you yourselves know how you ought to imitate us, because we were not idle when we were with you, nor did we eat anyone's bread without paying for it, but with toil and labor we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you. It was not because we do not have that right, but to give you in ourselves an example to imitate."  (2 Thess 3)

   But unfortunately "church" has become a business, as I touched on earlier. In the last century it has gotten completely out of hand. The emphasis and importance of money and materialism within the church body is revolting. The design for a church laid out in Scripture has multiple men leading the church. Multiple men can not all be full-time preachers. This is point. Responsibilities become Biblical, rather than traditional. 


 (Here is a great book on some significant ways the modern church has changed for the worse - http://www.amazon.ca/Why-Men-Hate-Going-Church/dp/0785260382/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1306273279&sr=8-1)

  When I often hear the phrase, "He or she is in, or going into full-time ministry." I then say, so they must be a Christian then? You see, there is no such thing as a career Christian, but that is exactly what almost every single church is comprised of. It is supposed to be an equal body of believers, with different roles. Not a pyramid of Christians, with different pay scales and commitment levels. 

  Think of it this way. Imagine you were on a walk with someone you care about very much, i.e. a parent, brother, sister, husband or wife etc. Picture the two of you enjoying the warm summer night air while walking downtown. Now, let's say the two of you were jumped by a gang of 5 or 6 thug-types. After a few minutes of them threatening you, one of them pulls a pistol on you and starts shouting. The person you're downtown with, who you love and care about very much, sees the gun holder is strung out on something, and steps in front of you just as he pulls the trigger. He or she slumps to the ground right in front of you as the gang scurries off. 

  A few months after the funeral you decide to begin speaking at schools about gangs, alcohol, and drug abuse, but mainly you want to tell about what your friend did for you that night. How could you not take every opportunity that comes along to sing this person's praises, and how you owe them your life. Now imagine if you were approached after a talk you just gave, and were offered an career where you could speak full-time, get a salary, and have your own office. Now you have an opportunity get paid to talk about the sacrifice your friend made for you that night. 

  I don't know about you, but just the thought of that repulses me. How could anyone accept money to talk about that? If someone wanted to give you a gas card while you traveled, offered you their guest suite while you were passing through town, gave you a donation, or cover you food expenses, that's a different story. 

 To get a T4 slip for being a better, harder working, or a more full-time Christian than most, just isn't right. (Jesus talked about money constantly; and the extreme dangers of it.) The more paid church positions there are, the more doors are opened where sin can enter the church. How many more countless ways are there for money to be spent from the church. Not within the church.


 Keith Green, realized this during his very successful years before he died at an early age in a plane crash. He was a former child music star. He became Christian in his twenties, and he changed the direction of his music during the 70's and 80's. He began not charging for his concerts and records. He only asked for what people were able to give, as he believed it wasn't right for Christians to be making so much money for presenting the Gospel. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keith_Green

 Many from the Christian music industry to put it mildly, went ballistic. Keith took a lot of flack from the Christian community for this over the years. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/So_You_Wanna_Go_Back_to_Egypt He and his wife mortgaged their own house and found other ways to finance the producing of the album (with a guest appearance by Bob Dylan) he was working on at the time. Of the 200,000 copies sent out, 61,000 of them were free and the rest were purchased by donation. He continued this "policy" for the rest of his career. 




   In the Bible it is far easier to find passages that support giving to widows, orphans, the sick, and the poor and  needy, than it is to hire a music/worship leader; or a children's ministry director. These are careers within church "culture". The church lingo and overall vernacular will sound good and right, but the actions, money trail, and fruit of the Spirit (or lack thereof) will often tell a different story.

 God does not need anyone or anything to save someone. He does not need certain preachers or authors. He does not need extremely talented, funny, or popular Christians to accomplish His will. He does not need buildings to reveal himself to someone. Who do we think we are, that we deserve or are owed money for our service to God!? Do we not, even in a small way, grasp what He did for us?!

  I get too emotionally charged when I get into this topic so I will end it there before I write something I will regret.

  

 When it comes to preachers, the criteria is clear. Is Biblical knowledge and training necessary to teach a church body? It is absolutely critical! 
  But I know multiple men of God who have a very strong desire to fly planes for missions work, third world medical help, preach, teach or serve God in a certain way who qualify by Biblical standards to do so, but have been denied the opportunity because they lack a piece of paper from a seminary. This has to change.
  God does not need anyone to accomplish his will on this planet, but He will hold everyone accountable for what we have done, or haven't done...


   I will say it again, we humans crave someone or something to worship. A tangible object to devote all our attention to. Key word there; TANGIBLE. 
Do you want to know what you worship? Whatever it is you think about most. Whatever it is you are most afraid of losing. 
  There was a time when Israel was a fully theocratic nation; answering only to God through prophets and judges. But the Israelites wanted to be like the other nations around them; have a system just like everyone else.

•  "'Now appoint for us a king to judge us like all the nations.' But he thing displeased Samuel when they said, 'Give us a king to judge us.' And Samuel prayed to the Lord, And the Lord said, 'Obey the voice of the people in all that they say to you, for they have not rejected you, but they have rejected me from being king over them.'"  Even though Samuel then went on to explain all the negative outcomes this would cause for the people, they wouldn't listen,  "But the people refused to obey the voice of Samuel. And the said, 'No! But there shall be a king over us, that we may be like the nations, and that our king may judge us and go out before us and fight our battles.'" (1 Samuel 8)

  It really boils down to idol worship. Just like the Israelites when they made a golden calf (Ex. 32) to worship when Moses was gone for too long. Unhealthy prestige, honour, and attention masked by Christian-ese language, given where it doesn't belong. 

  When Christ died He removed the need for priests when the Temple curtain was ripped down the middle. Jesus himself became our only High Priest.

• "We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf, have become a high priest forever..."(Heb 6)

 This means there is no need anymore for men to come to God on your behalf. So why, when we esteem pastors and church leaders more than we should, do we rein-act the very system Christ did away with when he died?!

 How does this play out in most churches? By thinking and acting like your pastors are Dr. Phil and Oprah. That their words and opinions are law. Why study the Bible myself when the same man we hire, can do so every week for me instead? 
  The first commandment "You shall have no other God's before me." is often broken when we worship the same men who are bringing the word of God themselves. 

  Or think of it this way: If you go to, or take your pastor's advice (or any human's for that matter) on an issue, before you go to the Bible and pray about it yourself, then you are in serious trouble. 

"There is no such thing a great man of God. Only weak, pitiful men of a great and merciful God." - Paul Washer


 My ending thought: if you are involved with any type of organized church, I would strongly encourage you to define what is right and wrong within that church, not from human opinions (including mine) or traditions, but by what the Bible clearly lays out. The Bible was not written to trip you up. It is not a Easter egg hunt for truth. 
   Truth is right there. And once you have your own opinion and belief on how a church should function from the Bible, then act on it accordingly and pick your battles carefully. 
   But there is something I've realized as I have found myself more alone than not, with where I stand on these types of issues. I am never the only one left; even though it can be so frustrating at times, am not flying solo on this flight path. The prophet Elijah said this, "I have been very jealous for the LORD, the God of hosts. For the people of Israel have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your alters, and killed your prophets with the sword, and I, even I only, am left..." God then causes winds strong enough to break chunks of rock off the mountain where Elijah is, an earthquake follows, then fire...and God then answers Elijah in a low whisper, "Yet I will leave seven thousand in Israel, all the knees that have not bowed to Baal..." (1 Kings 19) 
   After Paul also refers to this part of history in chapter 11 of his letter to the Romans, he says, "So too at the present time there is a remnant, chosen by grace." 

  So ultimately, we are not supposed to follow a man or woman, but to follow Jesus Christ. 


  Thank you for reading this post. I pray God blesses you as He sees fit.

CHAPTER 9 "A circle of love, or a shackle?" 6 of 6

IS IT REALLY WORTH IT?

...continued from Chapter 8

  Everyone has their own story in life, but for myself, my journey as a husband has had countless opportunities to either be selfish and do what I want, or do what God wants, which is what Christa needs me to do; and in some cases that is literally keeping her alive. What I mean by opportunities is this, my days are filled with dozens of choices that depending on what I decide, will have drastic results. But nevertheless they are still choices.

  Because of Christa's health being so brutal for most of our marriage, there have been days and even weeks, where I do not do one thing for myself. I have gone full days without eating because I don't have time to make myself something as Christa's body is dragging her into unexplainable agony like wild horses dragging someone behind them. She has swallowed over 65,000 pills over the last 4 years. She has taken 16 trips to the emergency room, but she has had enough reason to go well over a hundred times, but she fights like no one else I've ever heard of.

 The stress and anguish of my heart are far too high to even think about food. 24 hours without sleep is common. I go days without realizing that I haven't taken a full breath because of the trauma we find ourselves in. Running up and down the stairs getting drugs, helping her throw up, pouring baths, giving her mouth-to-mouth oxygen, micro-waving heat bags, researching online, and making sad attempts at laundry and dishes is what fills most of my days.

  I am no hero. If this is what being a hero is, I wouldn't recommend it...

          It does not feel like a choice, although I suppose it is. Just in the same way after seeing for the first time that Christ went though death instead of me, that giving my life which he bought, to follow Him is in reality a choice. But if something is irresistible, is it still a choice? How could I not choose to follow Him!? And as close tangent to that choice, how could I not choose to care for my bride in this dark season of life?

    Love does not make suffering any easier, but it provides the motivation to endure it.

   Christa is such an unbelievable woman. Almost every memory we have managed to make has been because of pain killers finally working, or more often than not, because of Christa's ability to manage the pain. She somehow is able to have conversations and think clearly up to a 7-8 out of 10 for her, if "10" is passing out from the pain. Even though she has gone through, and still endures more physical torture than I have ever seen, heard, or read about, she still makes my decision to love her a very easy one.

 While holding Christa's limp unconscious body waiting for her to "come to" in-between seizures, I have had long awaited phone calls with doctors and specialists, where I'm trying to focus on getting the information I need, while keeping my wife's body from slamming into something.

  This is a very small look into what our life has looked like more often than not for almost 3 years now.

"Kites rise highest against the wind - not with it." - Winston Churchill

   But with such suffering can come a silver lining. I must stress that this silver lining does not always bring comfort, or warm fuzzy feelings. What it is, is a God given opportunity to serve Him, through taking care of Christa when she can't take care of herself. This is a major part of my purpose in this life. There is often no immediate reward for doing things God's way. I don't take care of her because of what she could give back to me. I do it because I truly love her. And she doesn't choose to stay alive for any other reason then her unbelievable love for me. How could she when the pain is so torturous and unrelenting, month after month...I don't know why she chose me out of all the guys she could have said yes to...

 But even in the dark shadow-lands which Christa and I have walked hand in hand, our suffering is still somehow always slightly overpowered by the love, joy, and purpose Christa and I share. If someone could offer me a life, without all this unrelenting and all consuming unfiltered pain, I wouldn't take it if it meant giving up my relationship with Christa. 

  When we first started seeing each other we had no idea what lay ahead, but even if somehow I was given a vision from God of what was coming, I would still marry her. 

Rewards are not the correct motivation for sacrifice. Jesus Christ is. 

  This dark chapter of our story will hopefully end soon, and circumstances will be less traumatic, but my role and job as a husband remains unchanged. And for that I am truly glad.

 What Christa and I share is something so rare and precious, that I could never trade it for anything. And because of the evil monster that is her health, we have had to fight so fiercely for every bit of our love. The wisest man to ever walk the earth besides the Son of God, was King Solomon who wrote this around 960 B.C., "For love is as strong as death...Many waters cannot quench love, nor will rivers overflow it; If a man were to give all the riches of his house for love, It would be utterly despised."

  Think about this famous line that seems to be believed, to some extent, by most people, "If it feels good, do it." This is what people actually use as their line of reasoning for committing what God calls, sin. From cheating on your spouse, to fudging the tax numbers, to being loose with your tongue. "It felt good at the time, so I did it."

  If this is in some way a new thought for you, let me break something to you. Feelings have nothing to do with it. What you feel, can be trusted as much as a fat kid next to cupcakes. Feelings, when used as your compass for life, is like a compass that doesn't point North (Truth), but one that you can turn the arrow in any direction you like.

  But if God, and his Word are your compass, you can be guaranteed to find yourselves in hard circumstances just like anyone, but as a whole you will end up continuing North.

The Lord of the Rings was written by a Christian man, J.R.R. Tolkien, and many Biblical analogies are laced throughout his stories. Frodo's road was far from comfortable, but he knew exactly what he needed to do, and where he needed to go. No matter what showed up in front of him, he knew what his mission was.

 Marriage can hold such rich, untold joys and happy memories. Bliss is a word that comes close to describing what marriage can really be. But the only way these amazing times can truly happen, is if your feet are set and braced correctly, with Christ as your compass, for the stormy seasons which always come to some degree, to everyone in this life.

 In Matthew 7 Jesus tells a story of two men who built their house (lives) on different foundations. One on stone, the other on sand. Stormy weather hit both houses (lives). (Solomon also talks about negative  uninvited circumstances being unrelated to one's belief system in the book of Ecclesiastes.) Here is the rest of the story Jesus told,

  "And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock. 'Everyone who hears these words of mine and does not act on them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew against that house; and it fell--and great was its fall.' When Jesus had finished these words, the crowds were amazed at his teaching;"

   The purpose of doing it God's way, is not a lack of bad weather in life. If anything you may attract more, but the point is that if your life is built on Christ and the Bible, you will not fall, but have a life able to sustain the beatings life gives out.

 Marriage is by far the most high stakes game of life you will ever play.

  But the more you put what you perceive your rights to be, and what you think you deserve in this life aside, you will put yourself directly in the way of an unbelievable marriage!

    If you have made it this far, thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts on marriage. I pray that your wedding ring (or future ring) will represent a circle of Christ's love, and far from that of a shackle. May God bless you as He sees fit.

CHAPTER 8 "A circle of love, or a shackle?" 5 of 6

THE BOOKSHELF ANALOGY

...continued from Chapter 7

  It is not that other things in my life, such as sports or motorbikes, have become less important to me, but Christa has become that much MORE important and attractive to me! If other things or activities need to be set aside for the sake of my bride, I will. Not because I have to, but because I realize at least to some extent, just how much more valuable my Christa is than anything else in this life. How could I put some cheap, passing, potential pleasure ahead of her? You will monitor and care for your greatest investments in life, more carefully than any others. And the Bible clearly states that your wife should be your greatest investment.

  Don't get me wrong, I have been blessed to be able to do some things I really enjoy, such as motor-biking, photography, basketball, shooting various types of guns, working out and running, teaching sunday school, playing guitar pretty intensely since a very young age, working hard and saving up money, driving some sweet Toyota trucks, etc etc; and I will always enjoy "guy stuff". Christa loves it when I'm able to hit up the gym, or play a good game of basketball! And it makes me so happy to see her able to do things in this life that she really enjoys.

  But imagine a big bookshelf that has all the things in your life that are important to you, ranging from minor things at the bottom, to major things placed high up.

 I.e. what you think about most, is of highest priority to you.

Now, the upper shelves represent what is most precious and valuable to you. Now, when you get married, the bookshelf doesn't come crashing down to a pile of old hobbies and dreams (or at least it shouldn't). But instead, things get rearranged.

  The most rearranging happens for a man when he gets married. If things do get thrown out, then they probably shouldn't have been there at any point in time. And if the man is rearranging his bookshelf with any other attitude than a joyful one, look out. Because unfortunately for most people, marriage is like new cloths, the best it's gonna look is at the store. After that, it becomes harder to keep your interest. But if the couple realizes the true value of things, rearranging priorities is no problem.

   This is why true marriage and the relationships that lead to it, must be accurately explained and taught to young people early on in life! To realize the pure magnitude of what marriage really is, and be waiting and ready for it. Trials in marriage turn from circumstances that divide, to opportunities that perfect the relationship.

  If someone dropped you on an island, with a map to priceless treasure, you would head straight into the jungle looking for it. If you encountered wild animals, traps, and marooned pirates trying to keep you from it, would you throw up the white flag and call it a day? No way. NOT if you knew the true value of what you were going after. You would endure anything for the prize.

 A soldier in war will endure many hardships if he believes what he is fighting for, is worth fighting for. In the case of marriage, the rewards often come as you carry on, assuring you of the bearings you both set your compass to. Some days will seem like a dream, while others can be more stormy, but your eyes remain fixed on the true purpose of marriage, and what you and your wife are truly defined by, and you stay the course.

 I will be blunt. A marriage or relationship not built on Christ, will lack any genuine purpose. Without living from the reality that you have been forgiven untold debts, you will approach relationships with an attitude ultimately centered on yourself, instead of on Christ who commands a husband to love his wife, because He first loved us. What greater privilege, and purpose is there for a man?

NOT A DICTATOR

 This privilege of being married involves many responsibilities for the man, but one stands out to me from reading the Bible, more than most.

       A man must lead. His role is to be the head of his wife, and family.

Probably the most precise part of the Bible that touches on this issue is from Ephesians 5 when Paul wrote these inspired words,

"Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her," it goes on to further explain, but I'll stick to these words for right now.

  Now, if you guys get excited and even smirk a bit at the idea of being "the head" of your marriage, then  I can confidently say that you have no clue what that command entails. This is not a part of your marriage that you volunteer for with a song in your heart, and a smile on your face. You do not want to be the leader. It is a staggering responsibility that you will answer to God for. If you have an accurate understanding of what it means to be a man in the setting of a marriage, then you know this is not something you want, but something you know comes with the territory.

  If you claim to be a Christian, then the Bible say you will one day present your wife to God, and answer for how you acted towards her, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husband ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself." (Eph. 5)

  And you ladies,  your heart may baulk, and just the notion that you are to be "subject" to your man, might stir up all sorts of imagery that repulses you. Probably inspired by the God hating world we live in, which by the way, offers no functional alternative.

 First off, that is what the Bible says, and says clearly. There is no getting around it. So at the risk of sounding cold, it really doesn't matter how you feel on the issue. But second, you probably just like guys, have a very distorted and incorrect perspective on what this looks like in a solid marriage. I will explain what this should look like, and you can take it from there.

  (On a side note, I find it strange that a good chunk of the liberal camp of today's society bash Christians for viewing women as second class citizens, when in truth, it was Christianity that first brought about women's rights and the idea that women should be viewed at equal. Besides Jesus breaking all sorts of social barriers and speaking with women in public in a way equal with that of a man, Paul who wrote the verses I just quoted, also wrote about allowing women to sit along side men for the first time, and learn in the church.)

  The Bible does not command women to be a submissive species in general. You may have already caught this, but read the first few words about being subject, "...to your own husbands..." This does not mean that any man can ask you to serve him you have to do it; not at all! The command is not to lay over and play dead because all of your own will and passions have been shut down. The command is to submit to your own husband, and before that, your dad (assuming he was in the picture), and not to anyone else's authority (besides that of Christ which everyone will one day bow to).

  This is much easier and more of a joy to do I find, if the man the woman is married to, is desiring and straining to be a man that submits to Christ. Respect and trust for her husband will be inevitable. The wife is actually submitting to God first, by choosing to submit to her own husband as God has called her to do. This is a major part of God's design for a healthy marriage as no man will ever reach a level that is truly worthy of being submitted to by God's standards; failures will happen.

  If his motives and character are all focused on himself, then there is good reason for his woman to be nervous. If his priorities are not her well-being and growth as a woman, but his car, career, sports, friends, hobbies etc., then the wife is forced to pull his share of the weight as well as babysit him. What often happens, is the wife ends up fighting a lot of the battles of life that are her man's job. From having to keep tabs on his spending habits, apologizing to friends for words he said, to dealing with an issue with the neighbors because he doesn't feel like it. I'm sure you can come up with many possible examples. How can a woman feel safe and protected when she's stepping up to do her guy's job?? Only boys are permitted to hide behind mom's skirts.

 In Genesis, (chapter 3: 16-19) when God cursed man because of sin, He had one curse for men and one for women. Men were now to toil, sweat and labor in their work to provide for their families; and women would now have significant pain in childbirth.

 Now, what is happening more and more in our current society is that women want an equal share in both curses. They want the pain have birthing children, as well as the curse of labouring in the work force.

  I am not saying there is never a time for a woman to work outside the home, but merely pointing at just how skewed our culture views a woman's roles and responsibilities. It's far too much to expect a woman to take on the responsibilities and curse of a man, as well as the enormous burden of raising children. 

There seems to be a lot more successful business and career women, then there are successful mothers. This shows just which one is actually more difficult, and ultimately more rewarding and praiseworthy. 

 In the book of Romans Paul indirectly touches on an interesting point of who bears certain responsibilities within a marriage. "Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man..." Notice that even though Eve was first to actually sin, the blame and responsibility was laid on Adam, the man. Just like car insurance bills the policy holder for a collision, even if someone else was driving, God put the responsibility of what the woman did, on the man. This does not make Adam more or less important to God than Eve, but it does give a clear picture of God's design for the man to be a leader.

  In Genesis God created and designed a woman to help their man. Why? Because we men weren't going to make it on our own. We are in desperate need of a Godly woman in our lives.

  But when a woman has to help the boy she is married to, instead of her man, many unnecessary problems arise.

  Back to the men, it is your responsibility to serve your wife! Not by letting her walk all over you, but the best leaders are the ones who serve those who follow them by putting their needs above their own. My dad has worked 12 hour days, 5-6 days a week for over 20 years. He does this to serve his family. He is not buying sports cars and pricey golf clubs with his earnings. He was taking care of us!

  Or another example is from war, where the best generals are those who stay with the men in the trenches. And who make sure his men are taken care of before himself. He will be the first onto the battle field, and the last to leave.

 In a much more intense way, this should be the case within marriage.

"For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and give his life as a ransom for many." - Written about Jesus in the book of Mark.

  True leadership, means putting her needs above yours. Not necessarily wants, but what she needs. In a way, when you become a husband, you and what you want doesn't exist anymore. The best soldiers fight as if they're already dead. Going to work and providing for your household is not the gold standard for husbandry. Animals know how to do this better than most guys. No, your real job begins after work.

   Paul Washer says this, "After a hard day at work, you get home, and that's when your work really starts."

 Being the leader, is far from being the dictator. Let me say that again, the man is NOT a dictator.

 A quote I really like is this, "I can tell exactly what kind of man you are, by looking at your wife." This is so true. What the speaker meant was this: The wife is often such a direct mirror to how she is being loved or not loved by her man. A woman who is not being prized and loved fiercely, will whither away over time like a dying flower. While a woman who is being passionately loved and cared for to the exclusion of all others, will grow and thrive even in bad weather! (Christa loves this analogy. And sometimes when we're able to get out, she'll easily be able to point out a woman who is a "withering flower".)

 It is crucial, that you men lead your women well in a self-sacrificing way only from the blueprints laid out perfectly in the Bible.

   If the husband creates a "world" for his bride by leading compassionately by living according to God's will, then his wife will feel safe and secure, knowing full well she is loved; then she will respect and trust him to no end, and follow him into the most dangerous war zones of life.

   But if he is a man with purely selfish, greedy, and self pleasing motives for everything he does, it becomes extremely difficult for his wife to respect and trust him. How can she? Especially when he is not leading his family spiritually. That is the worst of all if he is failing in how he is leading spiritually. He is more dangerous to his wife and family than a deranged gunman stumbling into their home if he is not stepping up and setting an example worthy to be followed. If a husband and father fails in leading spiritually, he has failed in the worst way as the results can have eternal consequences.

Chapter 9 finishes this post...