CHAPTER 13 "No Pretending"

I'm BAAAaaack... and excited to get some more of my thoughts lined up to be read through!  Alright let's get to it

  
Is there something that is causing you to hurt? Something that you can't shake that you think is keeping you from being happy? 

  As I get into the heart of this next post, I want to touch on the difference between suffering, and discomfort. I see people in general, as well as myself, getting these two confused at times. (You can probably tell by now this isn't going to be a write-up about puppies and kittens rolling around in lush green grass:) )   

 Discomfort is a given in life, and is experienced by everyone. It comes in the form of a sore back in the morning, a fender-bender, losing your cell phone, and getting a week long flu, to name a few. These types of things are not suffering; they do not enter into the realm of true pain. They are merely the inevitable discomforts of life that we tell people about to bring attention to our existence. 

  I find that often it's easier to pretend these events are more dramatic than they actually are because the real pain in our life is too difficult to deal with and process.

What do you find yourself complaining about?

  I will be addressing pain. Real pain. Suffering sometimes so intense, that the idea of staying alive is far from the logical choice. It is dark, but nevertheless, it is reality. You may never walk a road this bleak, but never-the-less the truths learnt in these times should be valuable to anyone’s life situation.  

  Suffering on the other hand, is also universal, and penetrates everyone's life in some way, and to some degree. Everyone has problems or circumstances they wish were different. But obviously some people do suffer much more than others over the course of their life. One person's "8 of 10", is another's "2 out of 10". But hear me when I say,

There is no vaccination for pain. 

 

  You can't choose what uninvited trials may come, but you can definitely inflict countless griefs on yourself and others; and you can always choose how you respond to both. 
   If I had to guess, I would say that for the average person in North America, our problems are self-inflicted - Pain brought about by one’s own decisions. 

 Do you think lessons are learnt in the same way in self-inflicted pain, as in uninvited suffering? I don't think so. The question "Why?!?" does not need to be asked in self-inflicted pain; the "why" is obvious. 
I.e. “Why I am always finding myself in bad relationships?”, “Why am I always waking up feeling used and abused with a hangover?”, “Even though I have LCD TVs, nice house, and newer cars, why am I always broke?” You get the idea. This pain is real yes, but it’s easier to manage mentally as the 'cause and effect is' clear. You have control to fix these things. 

 It is in the chemotherapy riddled bodies, tsunamis, chronic pain, earthquakes, and a drunk driver hitting a family van on the side of the road, do you really have to face the great "why" question. Some of Jesus' final words on earth included the question WHY -- "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Mark 15)

  Affliction has many sources. The root of all pain is not the same. Different things cause different pain and I will explain that shortly!

   Before I attempt to answer these deeper questions about suffering, we need a correct definition of suffering. Where do we get an idea of what is really evil and what is really good? Something must be good for something to then be evil in comparison. Love can’t exist without hate, +5 without -5, hot and cold, and so on. 

Do you think that evil things happen in this world? I do. How do we know something is actually evil? Because we have an idea of what good is to compare evil to. And where do we get that idea? - God. 

   Where does one go for an accurate picture of God? The Bible. Despite the common misconceptions about the Bible, science and history prove what this book says should be trusted. It's up to you where you turn to for a final verdict on the answers to all the 'WHYS' in life. My logical mind keeps my heart grounded in this book for the answers to brutally tough questions. 

     

Questions that you never thought you would ask, may only begin to burn in your heart when the fires of pain have reached a certain degree.

Facebook profile pictures, photo albums, makeup, phone-calls, emails, and most conversations try desperately to veer away from this very real side of human existence. To an extent, all of us are playing a role in this masquerade, hoping people will see what we want them to see: unfazed and unaffected while putting our best face forward. Suffering is real, often feeling more real and prevalent than happiness.

  But King Solomon said this, "It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, because that is the end of every man, and the living takes it to heart. Sorrow is better than laughter, for when a face is sad a heart may be happy. The mind of the wise is in the house of mourning, while the mind of fools is in the house of pleasure." (Ecc. 7:2-4)

  Solomon isn’t saying good times are a negative, he says this because so much more can be learned from adversities than from celebrations. Substantial character growth rarely happens during parties or in the "good times". The potential for character growth is exponentially greater when you are in the middle of suffering.

The writer and public speaker Timothy Keller said something that has stuck with me regarding life’s circumstances in general. It went something like this… 

   There are three main things that will shape who you are; two of which you cannot control. 

One: Your genetics. You cannot choose your genetic make-up. Such as talents, coordination, musical ability, learning ability, deformities, etc.  

Two: Your circumstances and your environment. You cannot choose things you were born into, or that happen to you. Such as your family, parent’s religion, neighborhood, disease, rape, accidents, etc. 

Three: This one you can choose. It is your response and attitude to the first two. What you decide to do with the parts of your life that you can’t control. A concentration camp survivor said, “The Nazis can take away everything from me but one thing, my attitude. They cannot force me to respond to their cruelty in a certain way.”

 Pain and affliction is an endless world to delve into. But it isn't hopeless! This world still belongs to God. This means the game is not over. 

More to come!